"We're For Fife"

I've never been the biggest fan of my local council being run by the SNP. Now, however, they've gone and done it. If you're from Fife or have ever been to Fife, you'll understand why this video has gone and caused everyone to be sick in the nearest plant pot.



OH. GOOD. GOD.

Apparently, all parties responsible for this absolute monstrosity claim the brief was to "promote civic pride". Well done. You've succeeded in making an entire region of Scotland a national laughing stock AND WE WILL NEVER LIVE IT DOWN.

Is it the horribly, nauseating, faux American, super cheesy song? I mean, those lyrics... they really capture the imagination. "Living life together, at our very own pace". Thoughtful. I know Fife might seem to be stuck in an 80's timewarp, but maybe they could have come up with something just a little less... spandex sounding. It sounds like one massive radio jingle. I hate radio jingles.

Or could it be the "I thought I could be bothered, but as it turns out, I couldn't" video? A shot of a beach, because nowhere else has them. A bunch of dancers who probably wouldn't make it onto a Britain's Got Talent montage. Planes. Lots and lots and lots of planes. However, there is a man with a cracking mustache in there.

After a winter of elderly residents of Fife slipping and sliding on the un-gritted pavements, I feel like someone should sit them down and make them watch the "We're For Fife" video. I'm sure they'll agree their broken hips were worth it, by cutting the budget for grit to fund that absolute sickeningly, horrific, ghastly, pointless manifestation of crap.

Fife Council. You're idiots.

The New England Kit

Just who the hell thought it would be a good idea to make Ashley Cole look like a sailor in the new England kits?! Hasn't he endured enough gay jibes? Probably not...

The new England kit. A big deal has been made about this. Even more so than usual. I understand the English FA and Umbro have to provide a marketing campaign to sell their product, but I can't help but think they really haven't thought this one through. The unique selling point of their newest product is the fact it is tailored to fit. Right. Obviously that is exactly what fans like this chap on the right here were hoping for. He's going to go home and ask his wife to get the measuring tape out to get his chest size so his new England strip is exactly the correct size for him. Have these people done absolutely no research?! One of the first stages of the design process! Classic case of what the designers want is actually the opposite of what the client wants. It makes me so angry, what a basic error to make.

The end result of all this though is going to be seen in South Africa (assuming they make it there, of course) which will be groups of 50 or so fat men, running around throwing plastic chairs at the locals. But at least their shirts will be tailored! Maybe they'll look a bit more respectable?

Just because you had someone measure you to make your shirt emphasise your athletic build, it doesn't mean teams like Croatia and Russia won't embarrass you silly again.

The new England strip was made by Idiots.

LOL.

I very much dislike bad use of punctuation. However, using the acronym LOL to punctuate sentences really, really annoys me. I remember the days of LOL first breaking into mainstream typing everywhere. It was a phenomenon online which can be compared today to the likes of Twitter. Lots of people use it, some people don't have a problem with it whilst others utterly despise it's existance. Fair enough. Whilst I don't personally use it myself (I'm more a 'haha' kinda girl), I can't help but think it makes people look a bit... stupid. Yes, yes I said it. If you use the acronym LOL, you are therefore stupid. Unless, of course, you use it in an ironic manner. Then it's fine.

The first example is in texts. You indicate you are amused about something, but just how difficult is it to replace LOL with an extra character and go for 'haha'? That one extra character is the difference between someone judging you as a finely spoken, well shaped individual or an utter mong. Did you really just laugh out loud? I'm not sure you did. Can you even spell laugh? Again, I'm not sure you can.

The absolute WORST use of LOL has to be to punctuate sentences. Often these can be found on social networking profiles (expect a whole rantage of that just shortly...) and goes along these lines:

Hey! My name is "insert name here" lol! Dunno what to say lol! I enjoy different kinds of music. Not shouty stuff though lol!

What the hell is wrong with these people?! Why are they laughing so much? That suggests a serious neurological, possibly mental, problem. I cannot emphasise enough just how simple it makes these morons look. There should be some sort of authority online who decides if someone is abusing lols. Then it should be reported to the relevant ISP, who should ban these idiots from making the internet a lolhaven. I've had enough of them.

LOLists, you are idiots.