I've never been the biggest fan of my local council being run by the SNP. Now, however, they've gone and done it. If you're from Fife or have ever been to Fife, you'll understand why this video has gone and caused everyone to be sick in the nearest plant pot.
OH. GOOD. GOD.
Apparently, all parties responsible for this absolute monstrosity claim the brief was to "promote civic pride". Well done. You've succeeded in making an entire region of Scotland a national laughing stock AND WE WILL NEVER LIVE IT DOWN.
Is it the horribly, nauseating, faux American, super cheesy song? I mean, those lyrics... they really capture the imagination. "Living life together, at our very own pace". Thoughtful. I know Fife might seem to be stuck in an 80's timewarp, but maybe they could have come up with something just a little less... spandex sounding. It sounds like one massive radio jingle. I hate radio jingles.
Or could it be the "I thought I could be bothered, but as it turns out, I couldn't" video? A shot of a beach, because nowhere else has them. A bunch of dancers who probably wouldn't make it onto a Britain's Got Talent montage. Planes. Lots and lots and lots of planes. However, there is a man with a cracking mustache in there.
After a winter of elderly residents of Fife slipping and sliding on the un-gritted pavements, I feel like someone should sit them down and make them watch the "We're For Fife" video. I'm sure they'll agree their broken hips were worth it, by cutting the budget for grit to fund that absolute sickeningly, horrific, ghastly, pointless manifestation of crap.
Fife Council. You're idiots.
Tuesday 19 January 2010
Thursday 23 April 2009
The New England Kit
Just who the hell thought it would be a good idea to make Ashley Cole look like a sailor in the new England kits?! Hasn't he endured enough gay jibes? Probably not...
The new England kit. A big deal has been made about this. Even more so than usual. I understand the English FA and Umbro have to provide a marketing campaign to sell their product, but I can't help but think they really haven't thought this one through. The unique selling point of their newest product is the fact it is tailored to fit.
Right. Obviously that is exactly what fans like this chap on the right here were hoping for. He's going to go home and ask his wife to get the measuring tape out to get his chest size so his new England strip is exactly the correct size for him. Have these people done absolutely no research?! One of the first stages of the design process! Classic case of what the designers want is actually the opposite of what the client wants. It makes me so angry, what a basic error to make.
The end result of all this though is going to be seen in South Africa (assuming they make it there, of course) which will be groups of 50 or so fat men, running around throwing plastic chairs at the locals. But at least their shirts will be tailored! Maybe they'll look a bit more respectable?
Just because you had someone measure you to make your shirt emphasise your athletic build, it doesn't mean teams like Croatia and Russia won't embarrass you silly again.
The new England strip was made by Idiots.
The new England kit. A big deal has been made about this. Even more so than usual. I understand the English FA and Umbro have to provide a marketing campaign to sell their product, but I can't help but think they really haven't thought this one through. The unique selling point of their newest product is the fact it is tailored to fit.
Right. Obviously that is exactly what fans like this chap on the right here were hoping for. He's going to go home and ask his wife to get the measuring tape out to get his chest size so his new England strip is exactly the correct size for him. Have these people done absolutely no research?! One of the first stages of the design process! Classic case of what the designers want is actually the opposite of what the client wants. It makes me so angry, what a basic error to make.The end result of all this though is going to be seen in South Africa (assuming they make it there, of course) which will be groups of 50 or so fat men, running around throwing plastic chairs at the locals. But at least their shirts will be tailored! Maybe they'll look a bit more respectable?
Just because you had someone measure you to make your shirt emphasise your athletic build, it doesn't mean teams like Croatia and Russia won't embarrass you silly again.The new England strip was made by Idiots.
Jade Goody - The Musical
Right. Now I've managed to keep my mouth shut for the best part of this Jade Goody thing seeing as everyone has an opinion. I understand it's tragic, a young mother leaving her two sons at such a young age. That's a given. Some people complain about the press interest given to her as she was dying. I'm not bothered either way. She was making money for her kids, if you didn't like it, you didn't have to watch/read it.
However, what I DO object to is this, Jade Goody - The Musical.
Just how bad taste is this?! Firstly, enough already. The family/friends/agents should just let it go. Have a little bit of taste and dignity. They run the risk of gradually turning the entire nation against her, even when she's dead! What I don't understand is the claim of:
"The most important thing is to give someone a break, just like she got."
I see. So someone is really going to be taken seriously by appearing in a stage show about someone who was neither very bright and also a bit racist? No. Just no.
If they were really that intent on "giving someone a break", why don't they set up or promote a charity in her name to help fund and support people from poorer backgrounds who have a talent (I can't help but wonder what exactly Jade Goody's talent was...) and support them.
However, it's now all got so much out of hand, it's painfully blatent that she has become a commodity which people who claimed to be friends with are now exploiting. That in itself is sad.
Jade Goody - The Musical is an idiotic idea.
However, what I DO object to is this, Jade Goody - The Musical.
Just how bad taste is this?! Firstly, enough already. The family/friends/agents should just let it go. Have a little bit of taste and dignity. They run the risk of gradually turning the entire nation against her, even when she's dead! What I don't understand is the claim of:
"The most important thing is to give someone a break, just like she got."
I see. So someone is really going to be taken seriously by appearing in a stage show about someone who was neither very bright and also a bit racist? No. Just no.
If they were really that intent on "giving someone a break", why don't they set up or promote a charity in her name to help fund and support people from poorer backgrounds who have a talent (I can't help but wonder what exactly Jade Goody's talent was...) and support them.
However, it's now all got so much out of hand, it's painfully blatent that she has become a commodity which people who claimed to be friends with are now exploiting. That in itself is sad.
Jade Goody - The Musical is an idiotic idea.
Social Networks
This could go on for a while. Leave now.
So, about 5 years ago everyone was like "Are you on MySpace?!". If the answer was no, you were frowned upon. Frowned upon is possibly a bit old fashioned. You were more likely mocked for not being tech savvy and having an online presence. So off we all went, signing up to MySpace to stop the mocking, uploading our faces and all the details of ourselves. There were the three main types of social networkers; the over excited 'I-must-tell-you-everything' types, the cocky/arrogant 'I'm-too-good-for-this (but I still have a profile here!)' types and then the 'I-actually-really-can't-be-bothered-with-this' types. We'd spend hours uploading photos of ourselves, laughing at other people's photos, leaving comments. I spent many an hour or two playing around with html, trying to get my profile to look just right and better than the profile I had before. It was good, we all enjoyed being able to fritter our time away online.
Then someone mentioned Bebo.
So I though, 'yeah, I'll give this a go'. It asked me for my University details and e-mail address when I signed up. I though 'wow, this must be important!', and it was. You didn't even need to know any html to make your profile look spiffing. So we all spent a bit more time on Bebo, but not fogetting our MySpace though. It was there first, after all. Some of us even linked back to MySpace, just incase you wanted the same information, but different.
Then someone else mentioned Facebook.
'Might as well...' we all thought. But Facebook was different. It wasn't as easy on the user. It confused people. Many never made it past the 'Sign up' page. It was difficult times. Bebo and MySpace were safe. Though with time, people were won over. They learned to change. Hell, even Facebook changed. Suddenly there was an understanding there between the user and the network. It was almost perfect. Many people found what they were looking for in Facebook which they couldn't find in Bebo and MySpace.
Only now, there was a problem. People proclaiming they were 'no longer on Bebo or MySpace', often broadcasting it through Facebook.
See, this is the problem.
Nobody actually cares.
The amount of times I've heard people claim this. Like they're too good to be on these sites. Why did they sign up in the first place? And just why do they feel so smug and superior announcing this? 'Oh, I never use MySpace anymore'. Yeah? You want to know why that is? It's because you're boring and tedious! Your profile falls into the categories above and people find you characterless. You have no redeeming features, or at least no way of conveying it. THAT'S why you have no commincation on these sites and can no longer justify using them. I very much dislike the reputation certain types of people give social networks, especially when they were the very types who couldn't get enough of them in the first place. Maybe if you learned to transfer your obviously shining and wonderful personality to another medium, you'd be a bit more interesting.
Social Network bashers for no reason, you are idiots.
So, about 5 years ago everyone was like "Are you on MySpace?!". If the answer was no, you were frowned upon. Frowned upon is possibly a bit old fashioned. You were more likely mocked for not being tech savvy and having an online presence. So off we all went, signing up to MySpace to stop the mocking, uploading our faces and all the details of ourselves. There were the three main types of social networkers; the over excited 'I-must-tell-you-everything' types, the cocky/arrogant 'I'm-too-good-for-this (but I still have a profile here!)' types and then the 'I-actually-really-can't-be-bothered-with-this' types. We'd spend hours uploading photos of ourselves, laughing at other people's photos, leaving comments. I spent many an hour or two playing around with html, trying to get my profile to look just right and better than the profile I had before. It was good, we all enjoyed being able to fritter our time away online.
Then someone mentioned Bebo.
So I though, 'yeah, I'll give this a go'. It asked me for my University details and e-mail address when I signed up. I though 'wow, this must be important!', and it was. You didn't even need to know any html to make your profile look spiffing. So we all spent a bit more time on Bebo, but not fogetting our MySpace though. It was there first, after all. Some of us even linked back to MySpace, just incase you wanted the same information, but different.
Then someone else mentioned Facebook.
'Might as well...' we all thought. But Facebook was different. It wasn't as easy on the user. It confused people. Many never made it past the 'Sign up' page. It was difficult times. Bebo and MySpace were safe. Though with time, people were won over. They learned to change. Hell, even Facebook changed. Suddenly there was an understanding there between the user and the network. It was almost perfect. Many people found what they were looking for in Facebook which they couldn't find in Bebo and MySpace.
Only now, there was a problem. People proclaiming they were 'no longer on Bebo or MySpace', often broadcasting it through Facebook.
See, this is the problem.
Nobody actually cares.
The amount of times I've heard people claim this. Like they're too good to be on these sites. Why did they sign up in the first place? And just why do they feel so smug and superior announcing this? 'Oh, I never use MySpace anymore'. Yeah? You want to know why that is? It's because you're boring and tedious! Your profile falls into the categories above and people find you characterless. You have no redeeming features, or at least no way of conveying it. THAT'S why you have no commincation on these sites and can no longer justify using them. I very much dislike the reputation certain types of people give social networks, especially when they were the very types who couldn't get enough of them in the first place. Maybe if you learned to transfer your obviously shining and wonderful personality to another medium, you'd be a bit more interesting.
Social Network bashers for no reason, you are idiots.
Saturday 31 January 2009
LOL.
I very much dislike bad use of punctuation. However, using the acronym LOL to punctuate sentences really, really annoys me. I remember the days of LOL first breaking into mainstream typing everywhere. It was a phenomenon online which can be compared today to the likes of Twitter. Lots of people use it, some people don't have a problem with it whilst others utterly despise it's existance. Fair enough. Whilst I don't personally use it myself (I'm more a 'haha' kinda girl), I can't help but think it makes people look a bit... stupid. Yes, yes I said it. If you use the acronym LOL, you are therefore stupid. Unless, of course, you use it in an ironic manner. Then it's fine.
The first example is in texts. You indicate you are amused about something, but just how difficult is it to replace LOL with an extra character and go for 'haha'? That one extra character is the difference between someone judging you as a finely spoken, well shaped individual or an utter mong. Did you really just laugh out loud? I'm not sure you did. Can you even spell laugh? Again, I'm not sure you can.
The absolute WORST use of LOL has to be to punctuate sentences. Often these can be found on social networking profiles (expect a whole rantage of that just shortly...) and goes along these lines:
Hey! My name is "insert name here" lol! Dunno what to say lol! I enjoy different kinds of music. Not shouty stuff though lol!
What the hell is wrong with these people?! Why are they laughing so much? That suggests a serious neurological, possibly mental, problem. I cannot emphasise enough just how simple it makes these morons look. There should be some sort of authority online who decides if someone is abusing lols. Then it should be reported to the relevant ISP, who should ban these idiots from making the internet a lolhaven. I've had enough of them.
LOLists, you are idiots.
The first example is in texts. You indicate you are amused about something, but just how difficult is it to replace LOL with an extra character and go for 'haha'? That one extra character is the difference between someone judging you as a finely spoken, well shaped individual or an utter mong. Did you really just laugh out loud? I'm not sure you did. Can you even spell laugh? Again, I'm not sure you can.
The absolute WORST use of LOL has to be to punctuate sentences. Often these can be found on social networking profiles (expect a whole rantage of that just shortly...) and goes along these lines:
Hey! My name is "insert name here" lol! Dunno what to say lol! I enjoy different kinds of music. Not shouty stuff though lol!
What the hell is wrong with these people?! Why are they laughing so much? That suggests a serious neurological, possibly mental, problem. I cannot emphasise enough just how simple it makes these morons look. There should be some sort of authority online who decides if someone is abusing lols. Then it should be reported to the relevant ISP, who should ban these idiots from making the internet a lolhaven. I've had enough of them.
LOLists, you are idiots.
Tuesday 17 June 2008
Luca Toni
Today's rant is inspired by the France v Italy Euro 2008 football match. Luca Toni is a late bloomer, one of those players who do nothing for most of their careers then all of sudden seem to be a bit better than average. I can't remember when I first heard of Luca Toni. He appeared out of nowhere. Somewhere I wish he would politely return to.
I like football. I watch it a lot, I play it a lot. I like to think I can spot a good player. However, Mr Toni is an idiot. He scores plenty of goals in domestic football, but whenever I watch him play, he looks like a pub league player. For a man that's 6ft odd, he should be out-jumping the centre backs marking him. However, he can't jump. When he does actually attempt to jump, he feels the need to foul whoever is marking him. Clearly he does not realise that if he uses his brain (assuming he has one) and makes it to the ball BEFORE the man marking him, he wouldn't need to foul him and has more chance of scoring.
Another thing. He has some of the best players in the world setting him up, playing through balls. I want to see the stats for how many passes and one on one's with the keeper he misses. His first touch is good. His finishing is gash. I doubt he could finish his dinner some nights.
Why does he look so surprised when he misses?! You know the one I mean.
Surely, with him doing it so often, the shock will have worn off? Apparently not. In fact, if he likes, I can break the news gently to him just before he takes a shot that he is going to miss. Really, I don't mind. For some reason, he gets a start every single game. He's not that good. How can he be so slow? He's an athlete. He trains for a living. Yet he's still slower than my gran. That's really a good quality of a centre forward. So let's sum him up. Slow in the air. Slow on the ground. Can't finish. Drama queen.
Yet, the absolute worst thing about Luca Toni was that daft celebration he used to do which made him look like your Grandad punching the air. Why?! Just... why!
Luca Toni. You're an idiot.
I like football. I watch it a lot, I play it a lot. I like to think I can spot a good player. However, Mr Toni is an idiot. He scores plenty of goals in domestic football, but whenever I watch him play, he looks like a pub league player. For a man that's 6ft odd, he should be out-jumping the centre backs marking him. However, he can't jump. When he does actually attempt to jump, he feels the need to foul whoever is marking him. Clearly he does not realise that if he uses his brain (assuming he has one) and makes it to the ball BEFORE the man marking him, he wouldn't need to foul him and has more chance of scoring.
Another thing. He has some of the best players in the world setting him up, playing through balls. I want to see the stats for how many passes and one on one's with the keeper he misses. His first touch is good. His finishing is gash. I doubt he could finish his dinner some nights.
Why does he look so surprised when he misses?! You know the one I mean.
Surely, with him doing it so often, the shock will have worn off? Apparently not. In fact, if he likes, I can break the news gently to him just before he takes a shot that he is going to miss. Really, I don't mind. For some reason, he gets a start every single game. He's not that good. How can he be so slow? He's an athlete. He trains for a living. Yet he's still slower than my gran. That's really a good quality of a centre forward. So let's sum him up. Slow in the air. Slow on the ground. Can't finish. Drama queen.
Yet, the absolute worst thing about Luca Toni was that daft celebration he used to do which made him look like your Grandad punching the air. Why?! Just... why!
Luca Toni. You're an idiot.
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